Holiday Stress and Family Dynamics: A Therapist’s Guide to Staying Sane (and Maybe Even Smiling)

By Elizabeth Berry, Licensed Therapist

The holiday season arrives with its familiar rhythm—twinkling lights, cinnamon in the air, and a calendar that fills faster than we expect. For many, it brings joy. For others, it stirs up fatigue, tension, and the quiet ache of unmet expectations.

What does this season feel like in your body? Is there tightness in your shoulders? A flutter of anticipation? A longing for quiet?

Rather than striving to “do” the holidays right, what if we softened into them?

Notice the Details

Let yourself linger in the small moments. The warmth of a mug in your hands. The sound of laughter from the next room. The way candlelight dances on the wall. These sensory anchors can ground us when the world feels too loud.

Honor Your Energy

You don’t have to attend every gathering or respond to every invitation. Rest is not laziness—it’s wisdom. If your body asks for stillness, listen. If your heart feels tender, protect it gently.

Let Boundaries Be Loving

Family dynamics can be complex. If certain conversations leave you feeling drained, it’s okay to step away or change the subject. Boundaries don’t have to be rigid—they can be soft, kind, and clear. “I’d love to talk about something lighter,” is a perfectly valid sentence.

Feel What You Feel

Joy, grief, nostalgia, irritation—they all belong. The holidays often stir up old memories and emotions. You don’t need to fix them. Just notice. Breathe. Let them pass through like a winter wind.

Find Meaning in the Mess

The pie might burn. The tree might shed more needles than expected. Someone might bring up politics. And still—there can be beauty. Connection. Humor. Even healing.

A Gentle Invitation

This season, may you find moments to rest. To feel. To notice. May you honor your needs with grace and allow joy to arrive in unexpected ways. Not because everything is perfect—but because you are present.

Elizabeth Berry is a licensed therapist in training, specializing in women’s ADHD. She helps clients navigate life transitions with humor, compassion, and practical tools. When she’s not in session, she’s probably baking something slightly overambitious.