By April Willger, Integrative Health Coach and owner of Wellness N Soul
As an integrative health coach I guide clients to do “nice” things like drink more water, express more gratitude, and clean out that closet that almost kills you each time you open it.
That’s all fun and cute. But when we get about four to five months into the program, I spring a recommendation on my clients that is one of my favorites: I tell them to BE BAD!
My clients usually give me the seventy-five-year-old grandma response in a sweet, “I’m going to run home and bake cookies for you” voice, “Oh I don’t know if I can do that. I’m just a nice person, and it’s so hard for me to be rude, and, and….”
Excuses, excuses, excuses. I’ve heard them all.
Come on, Grandma. I’m not talking about illegal drugs and a night in jail or anything. I’m talking about gently brake checking the person that’s following you a little too close on the busy holiday roads. I’m talking about ignoring an invite to a get-together, that frankly, you never wanted to go to anyway. I’m talking about going to a holiday celebration and purchasing a pie from the store instead of staying up all night and fussing over a decadent dessert. I’m talking about not contributing gift money for your lazy boss’s Christmas present. (Honestly, did he really earn a nice gift this year?)
As I give these ideas to my clients, evil grinch smiles spread across their faces that adorn a new flame in their eyes. The thought of, “Huh, maybe I could handle that,” crosses their forehead.
Don’t worry. There is a reason for my brake checking madness. The purpose behind this exercise is to put my clients back in charge of their life. You always have the choice to do whatever it is that you want in life. You choose to kill yourself the night before a holiday celebration, making that perfect dessert. You choose to attend a get-together that you don’t want to go to. You choose to contribute your hard-earned money to a gift for someone who doesn’t really deserve it.
Despite what you’ve heard and told yourself over the years, this life is about fulfilling your wants and desires. This life is about deciding what your values and mission are and living it with integrity. This life is all about pleasing yourself. It is not about pleasing others. It is actually your responsibility to create a life that you love for yourself.
Do you have the disease to please? Is the disease to please serving you and your health? What does being bad mean to you? Does being “bad” mean brake checking, ignoring holiday invites, or omitting your boss from your gift list? Or is it sleeping in, having an extra piece of pie, or curling up on the couch to relax and watch a movie?
While my sweet clients struggle to find ways to be bad, they usually are so thankful that for once in their life, someone finally told them it’s actually healthy for them, to be BAD!!
How can you implement a little of “bad” into your life this holiday season?