Emotions Make Us Feel Out of Control

by Joyce Sobotta

Sometimes our emotions make us feel out of control and we hide from them, ignore them, or focus instead on our physical pain. Emotions like fear, sadness, grief, anger, and regret are inevitable and part of being human. Learning how to work with them will make a difference in our daily lives and relationships. It’s quite common to stuff our real emotions because they feel uncomfortable. If we continue to stuff the emotion, however, it can manifest as a physical condition.

Dr. Thomas Hudson, in his book Journey to Hope, writes a chapter on understanding and expressing emotions. He emphasizes that dealing with our emotions starts with awareness. The first step is to name the emotion we are feeling. We often confuse the feeling with what we are thinking or what is happening to us.

Acknowledge the emotion as our own

No one can make us mad or sad—we can only do that to ourselves! Another person may pull the trigger to our emotions, but it doesn’t do any good to blame someone else for our feelings. We get to take full responsibility for understanding them. If we take the following steps to deal with our emotions, we can move to a higher level of consciousness and health:

1. Identify where in the body we feel the emotion. Many emotions are perceived to be in the chest area, which includes the heart, lungs, breasts, throat and shoulders. 

2. It is best to express our emotions fully. When we identify where the emotion is in our body, we are getting closer to being able to release it. 

3. Allow time for introspection, and time to become calm. Ask questions and listen to the deeper message through meditation or by simply being quiet. The answers will come. Once you have heard the message, you need to act on it! Otherwise, the whole process will be for nothing.

4. There needs to be a balance in giving and receiving. We all know people who constantly give, draining their body and depleting their immune system with stressful situations.

5. We get to nurture our body and ourselves with loving daily practices such as healthy eating, yoga stretches, exercise, deep breathing and meditation.

It’s time to tune into our body. Listen and be conscious of the messages we receive. Chronic fatigue or pain, an accident, or an illness are all indicators that a change may be needed. Sometimes becoming involved with another person’s “stuff” may be the reason we experience a sore shoulder—a sign of carrying more than we can handle. Learning to let go of a situation that requires more than we can handle may be in our best interest.

Take time to re-evaluate. Where are you going? What do you really want? What can you do for your highest good? And remember: You can be in control of your own emotions!