Living My Tornado

by Rachel Mattson, Trinity Equestrian Center

Step into my boots and join me in the pastures at Trinity Equestrian Center, where hundreds of veterans and their families have found hope and healing. In this excerpt from Unlikely Recruits-How God Enlists Horses to Heal Veterans, Army veteran Jason meets Hugo, a frightened horse rescued just weeks earlier. Still recovering, Hugo suffers a medical emergency. While I call for help, Jason stays beside him.

An excerpt from Unlikely Recruits

“Jason, while I call Doc, stay by the horse’s head. Talk to him and rub his neck. Tell him he’ll be okay.”

The veteran was on a mission. He took on an entirely different persona. Jason was calm, compassionate, and began to comfort Hugo.

“Hey buddy, I know we haven’t really met yet, but you can trust me. I never let any of my unit’s down, and I won’t let you down either.”

To add to the surprises of the day, the veteran started unloading his “baggage” on Hugo, spilling his regrets and shame. No doubt a load he’d been carrying for a very long time.

“I feel terrible about how I’ve screwed up my other marriages, and I sure don’t wanna trash this one.” He spoke in a steady, warm, and caring tone. He only took his hands off Hugo’s neck long enough to wipe his tears.

“Truth be told, I’m as scared as you are, but at least you have the courage to show it, and not run from it, like me. I’m scared that if I let my anger out, the tornado I’m trying so hard to keep under control might… really hurt someone. Maybe even my wife. So when I push her away, I’m trying to protect her. When I drink until I pass out, at least I won’t hurt her. It’s my tornado that keeps spinning around me… in my mind and keeps picking up things in its path, lambasting everything and everyone.”

Even though twenty feet separated us when I stepped away to make the call for help, I heard everything. Every confession, every sad memory, and every regret. That’s what I call a therapeutic moment.

Then I heard Doc’s voice asking, “What’ve we got?”

“Doc, it’s Trinity! Remember the little gelding we rescued a few weeks ago? Well, it happened. He went down and there’s no getting him up. He’s really dehydrated. We need your help quickly! This is the little guy with no trust.”

Rejoining Jason and Hugo, I saw fear plastered across the veteran’s face, like he’d done something wrong. Hugo was standing!

Jason refused to give up on Hugo. Could he find that same hope for himself? 

Read the rest of “Living My Tornado” and discover more stories of service, struggle, and unexpected hope in Unlikely Recruits. Order at trinity-ec.com or tonimattson.com.